I’m experiencing a paradigm shift. I have had additional priorities manifest themselves in my life the past few weeks.
It’s really hard to know how to speak about it publicly because I’ve become pretty withdrawn from spilling personal details of my life as of the past year or so. Mostly because being so open has bit me in the ass with people I thought were friends and other acquaintances thinking my blog should be on their list of interests. It’s a problem that has been slowly building for forever now- for as long as I’ve had any blog, really but it has been particularly frustrating at least in the past year. I’ve written a few draft blog posts on this exact topic but not really known how to articulate it till just now. (Excellent, now you all are caught up with something I’ve failed to properly write out for a long time now, phew!)
I went on vacation to recharge some batteries, chillax and actually give this “issue” some deep thought. I’ve been back for a few weeks now, I’ve had a lot of unexpected problems pop up and I still don’t have an answer for how I wish to present myself on the internets anymore. Finding time to work has been hard and finding time to blog personal shit has been even harder. I’m not inclined to stop camming in the slightest but if I were to tell you why I feel the way I do, that would be more information than I really care to freely give the world. Which really sucks because I feel like most of my fans enjoy me for the real person I am. I’m real and I engage with people. I try not to be overtly opinionated if I can help it and I just roll with punches trolls try to give. I feel like by withdrawing personal shit on the internet, assholes win. However, for the first time in my life, I think I have shit going on in my life precious enough I wish to guard it.
I will state some awesome news though; I think I’m going to shift from being primarily a camgirl to more a photographer. I have a few local friends that also happen to be in the adult entertainment industry and they need a photographer. I just so happen to have skills that they appreciate and DAMN IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A GANGSTA.
I have had a week filled with the most interesting changes since.. I cannot recall. Some things have really just happened to fall into place in my favor, others, not as much. I’m trying to roll with the punches, even though I’m having to throw some myself.
:/ I don’t like throwing punches, even in a figurative or metaphorical sense.
Time to take a long shower and meditate on everything I need to do in the next few days. Can’t wait for some more good and possibly bad developments, though. I feel so alive and empowered..